You Know You're Chinese When...

Purple is tor
You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year. Check! Obviously
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. I don't even buy Christmas cards!
When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. We don't, but I can see this happening... We just take toilet paper from toilets whenever we see rolls lying around-- I have a toilet roll with 'This is your Jerry Springer moment' on it. Guess where it's from?
You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table. I think we do. Nope, newspaper
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. No. But we keep it really clean or there's a really gross smell of old food burning...
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack. Yes! It's a waste of space. Although sometimes we use it since one of my flatmates is German. I think it's a patriotic thing- it's Miele, German technology
You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. Check!
You eat all meals in the kitchen. Check! No, sometimes in my room but I always make everyone clean up after themselves
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers. Check!
You use grocery bags to hold garbage. Check! Obviously. that's what they're for
You always leave your shoes at the door. Check! Blatantly. Or else my nice clean floor will get dirty! It's quite awkward when ang mohs visit tho.
You have a piano in your living room.
You twirl your pen around your fingers. Check! What's that got to do with being Chinese..?
Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. Can't help it. racial memory of lean starving years
You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars. We've got both.
You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
You've eaten a red bean Popsicle. Buy them quite frequently what. I quite like them too
You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes. Only during New Year lah. I agree
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. Check! That's the point of staying in a hotel what
The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's. We do better than that. Mum takes the cutlery. I haven't bought ketchup in 2 years. Come to think of it, I've never actually *bought* any cutlery. We've got loads of disposable chopsticks!
Ditto for paper napkins. There was once, they took a jug as well... Yup!
You never order room service. Check! Ha! The cheapo hotels I stay in don't actually have room service
You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID). Not quite. Although when we went cycling in the New Forest I brought 10 mini cupcakes, a banana, an apple, some bread and half a roast chicken. Hey we were miles from civilisation! Although i didn't eat the chicken in the end because we came upon a pub in the middle of the forest and had the heartiest English pub meal I've ever had. (And two pints of an ale called squirrel's bounty... looked for Shoggoth's Old Peculiar but there was none) Needless to say our intended day-long forest cycling excursion turned into a cycling to a pub-in-the-middle-of-forest excursion. I think I preferred that to my horse-riding experience.
Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. CHECK! He can't fix anything. Who fixes (or arranges people to come and fix) everything? Me! Or now, Gloria!
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law. Check for my sister! Enough already!
When you go to a dance party, there is a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool. No. At Singaporean functions here its mostly decent guys suddenly turning into wanabe bengs and poking you in the eyes with their fingers.
You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood. I see that happening. God forbid! After I'm 30, same country will do.
You don't use measuring cups.
You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax. Check! Tax adds up to a lot!
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
Your parents' house is always cold.
You have a teacup with a cover on it.
You reuse teabags. Naturally
Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.
You tip Chinese delivery guys / waiters more.
You're a wok user. Check! Electric stoves are crap for wok cooking!
You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions. Don't we all hate anything that's dubbed? Do I even like Chinese films in general? The only films I've watched and liked are infernal affairs and hero.
You have acquired a taste for bittermelon. Check!
You like congee with thousand year old eggs. They're the best! And century eggs were used in Fear factor, along with durian. I should've been there! $500,000
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh. Yes, but I peel them and take out all the gross shit in the prawn's back first.
You never call your parents just to say hi. They call me every week actually. Just to make sure I'm alive.
You always cook too much. I cook a lot and often. I also cook large amounts of food if I know it will turn out to be nice so I can have it for lunch tomorrow. If I'm trying something new I tend not to cook too much. Just now I tried a new and interesting dish-- pasta with swiss sausages and cream and cheese and white wine sauce. It was very nice and fattening. Difficult to get the cheese right.
If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten rice, even if it's midnight. I can so see this happening... Yup!
Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. Check! That's what you should do. Tien chi really works!
They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.
Your parents never go to the movies. Check! But that's 'cos they haven't got time...
Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
You use a face cloth.
Your parents use a clothes line.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
You've joined a CD club at least once.
You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You never discuss your love life with your parents. Hallo? I haven't got one to begin with. I do!
Your parents are never happy with your grades. CHECK! Hah! TELL ME ABOUT IT. I sent one of my philosophy essays for daddy to look at, and he said, oh, you borrowed too many arguments from other people and it's not focussed enough. Generally ok, he said. Ok? OK?! And I got a first for it!
You keep most of your money in a savings account. CHECK! Where else would you put it?
You've been on the Love Boat or know someone who has.
Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. Check!
You love Chinese Martial Arts films. Check!
You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing. Check!
Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you. Check!
You love to go to $1.75 movies.
You love to go to $1.50 movies even more.
You never order sweet-n-sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a Chinese restaurant.
You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
Someone in your family drives a Honda... with custom rims.
You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror.
You like to eat chicken feet.
You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer.
You can get a buzz on Coors O'Douls or Miller Sharps.
You look like you are eighteen. Got carded two weekends ago
You only buy used cars.
You have more than five remotes in your house. Check!
You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more. Check!
You can't bear to throw things away. Check!
Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all. Check!
Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. Check, I think. I think I may be legally blind
You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade. Check! since I was 9
Your parents (or some other close relative) own a grocery store or restaurant.
You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate. I can see my mum doing this...
You've never seen your parents hug. they're actually very affectionate. it's fascinating and strange
Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
You never order desserts at restaurants. Check!
You always have water when dining out.
You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently. CHECK!
You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
You love to play mah jong. Check!
You have to read all your parents' mail written in English. No lah, not that gone case.
You are constantly being set up with uninteresting (and usually ugly) people by your parents.
You hate eating cheese. That's not true, I love cheese! Ok, fine. Sometimes. I like fondue. Actually before I went to Switzerland and actually had proper, authentic fondue I only liked the idea of eating fondue because I'd never actually tried it in Singapore. Fondue is not just a big vat of boiling cheese. It also has schnapps, white wine and champagne in it (if you're feeling posh) I got quite drunk just eating it. And we had lemon sorbet with cream afterwards, which is the best dessert for a fondue meal!
You have a big aquarium filled with colorful fish somewhere in your house.
Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants.
White people look at you strangely if you tell them you are Buddhist.
You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
You never made the school football or basketball team.
You have two middle initials instead of one.
You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.
Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.
You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions. Duh!? Last I checked that was a good thing
You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.
You cut your own hair… or had someone in your family do it. Yeah, when I was younger!
Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth… especially in front. She has hers at the side.
You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times. I think we do.
You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means. Eh? You mean they're supposed to mean something else?
You only have to shave every other day (maybe).
You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
You never drank milk after eating cherries.
Your parents collect jade jewelry. Check!
You always drink tea after a meal.
Your dad owns at least one bird.
Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.
You use doilies to decorate your furniture.
Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.
You're proud to be Chinese - and you pass these jokes on to all your Chinese friends! Haha! Yes I didn't see that coming!

Got this off www.blogthings.com They've got some very amusing things over there...