I'm tired.

So I'm quiting my job at the end of this month. If I keep working like this I'll crash and burn by the time I hit uni. Even then, I'll pop by to help out if they've got a mad reservation or something like that. I really need a holiday, maybe I'll take up my aunt's offer of a 2 week silk road trip. Until then, I must go back to gaming, I've been running on empty for too long.

I'll miss the funny regular customers and food the kitchen whips up for staff meals. I'll even miss the stupid accidents, of wine glasses and bloody hands. And of course, the people who help me hide such accidents from my draconian managers. I'll miss alot of things, but I can't function in this limbo anymore.

Work isn't a substitute for school like I thought it would be. The lifestyle is completely different. For instance, I can't function on two hours of sleep. And I have to dumb myself down or people can't understand what I'm trying to say. It's a bit of a struggle to write properly, work does nothing for my grammar and useage of lingo., can't seem to code switch anymore. I have to start reading again.

I don't know if he's coming back and I don't really care at this point. I will always rememeber that impossible amount of frustration loaded into four simple words. Someone else found him first, and I wish them well. I hope they fix it.

The relief and release after final exams. But do you know what it's like to turn heads on the street? What it's like when your long term crush (yes, even til now) looks at you with new eyes? When half the people you know don't recognise you? Time and situation conspired against us, that much we agree on.

But dangling things in front of me, just to make sure I'd call you back? That was the final straw.

Even then, you're right and I do feel guilty.

Not.