You'll never guess who I saw at j8 today: Brenda Boh

I used to have the most awful crush on her (actually, it was more like hero worship. What to do, she was everything I wanted to be, at that point of time.) but it's the sort of thing that I look back on today and laugh about.

It's so odd, that she'd forgotten that I'm in secondary 4 now, and was rather suprised when I mentioned stepping down. We exchanged only brief words but it seems like she hasn't changed much, from the time that she was still in IJ.

It was most strange, talking to her. Most strange...

"Talk to everyone even if they are complete idiots and don't let them know you think so." Erm, Victoria, that's going to be very difficult. But I'll try not to psycho-analyse them or anything, at least. Thanks, you really know how to make me feel better, don't you? I'm getting you something nice for Christmas~

Hallo Jillian! *waves enthusiastically*

You have no idea Adam. If I'm still alive after all that studying I'll probably not do any sleeping with all the things that're planned.

Jenny! *hug

Moshi moshi is only used over the phone. I'm not even sure if that's the proper romanji for it. Anyway, who're you?

Is that so, Amanda? Cool, random~

By the way, please take note that I've 2 new e-mail addresses, one for mail only, aarghrandom@gmail.com and another for msn, aargh_random@hotmail.com.

That should be it.

Quiz time, because I feel random~


Seer

The ULTIMATE personality test
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Category I - The Hub
You're a 'people person'. Networking runs in your
blood. Consequently, you can move through most
social circles with ease.

What Type of Social Entity are You?
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You are... SNICKERS!Nutty, diverse, and very sweet, you are full of
energy. You have loads of friends, and good
one's at that. But it's a strange thing. People
either love you, or they hate you.Either way, you're still fun to be around!

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What Smart Eyes You Have

What do your eyes say about you (for girls) with pix
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Every time I read Gloria's blog I am struck by how more mature and aware she is. Her innermost thoughts do not gel with the flighty, ADD personality she makes herself out to be-- either on purpose, with an enhanced sense of irony only a select few can appreciate, or simply as a consequence of her delirious realisation of what the world is and could be.

One of the side-effects of turning 21 is an inclination towards retrospection. One starts taking stock of one's life-- now that there's finally a significant chunk of it-- contemplating the achievements, bittersweet moments, burning embarassments and screaming, howling, gut-wrenching regrets.

Reading Gloria's blog is like seeing a distant spark of what I was before the years piled up on top of me. I wish I could tell her everything she needs to know so that she'll end up the brilliant, polished girl I wish I could be, had I started at that age. Of course I know that's terribly un-PC. Free will, choice, independence and all that. Her sense of self is impressively developed- but without condescending I would warn that many more obstacles will threaten that sense in time.

Gloria- it's not just about exams. Please do have a life. I am still trying to come to terms with not having had one even though I am having too much right now. (Just got back from Amsterdam celebrating my birthday.) Please develop a personality and discover what it is you really like doing. Please don't engage in intellectual snobbishness. Talk to everyone even if they are complete idiots and don't let them know you think so. This teaches you how to deal with idiots you have no choice but to work with in later life. Try as many new things as possible. Don't be a know-it-all. Be humble.

As some famous actor said, 'Be the little man. Don't let them see you coming.'

Why the sudden introspection? I've been dragged kicking and screaming into my third decade of existence and it does not feel nice. I want to be 18 forever. (And for a few fleeting hours last weekend I was- actually I was 14 for long periods of time.) I don't actually want to grow up. It feels artificial and at times I am uncomfortable inside my own skin.

So please Gloria (and friends of a similarly youthful age, mental or otherwise) do go crazy and have a lot of young, stupid fun. And say no to (only potentially dangerous) drugs.

Disclaimer: The author accepts no legal or moral liability for the contents of the above passage. It was a joke. JOKE.

Good luck for 'O's. Thanks for the Bday greetings.

Practical today went alright. Electricity didn't come out for Physics, oh joy! And with that, I'll never have to do another practical again, for as long as I live, though I don't know if that's a good thing or not...

Another thing is, technically speaking, I'm not part of IJ anymore (it was so strange to type that). It's... odd, and I don't feel it yet. Someone is screaming at the back of my head but it sounds like static and I'm mostly too tired to notice anyway. And when it hits me it will be an excruciating, bittersweet pain.

Met Chris and Eunice at the bus stop (they're band people). Asked about the band schedule during the hols, so that I know when to go down to get my saxophone.

No, hold on. It's not mine anymore. And it really hurts to say that.

Do you know what it's like? To know how much to loosen when its temperamental, or when the reed is just perfectly seasoned such that you get just the right sound? To play something that feels like a natural extension of yourself, to know its keys and smooth curves by heart?

I've never handled something with such practiced ease before. I'll miss carrying its reassuring weight by my side. But I know that I lack the skill, patience and discipline to continue with it.

I have to let go of so many things. It's more difficult than I care to admit. But then again, we can't always have what we want, it takes all the fun out of life. And of course, the price of getting what one desires is actually getting it.

Sorry if I'm in one of my goth moods. I seem to have a talent at making myself more depressed...

Hallo Adeline. Thanks, you take care too.

It's the online journal network, Lareina. If you try hard enough, you can get anywhere from most people's linking. Hallo to you too!

Thanks so much Amanda. Left something on your board. I love you.

Oh, and before I forget:
Happy 21st birthday Victoria!!!

You know what I need? Motivation, that's what.

List of things to do after the bloody O's:

RPG- D&D. Oh yeah, lots of. (and therefore let the gaming people meet the school people)
RP- Hika (yey! Inui/Yagyuu crack!)
Clean room (possibly paint walls as well)
Do something about my hair
Sing (properly)
Christmas shopping/writing
Finish my damn fic
Spend time and money at KKNM (when I repay my $140 loan, that is)
Have coffee with people on my Coffee List
Have/go to sleepovers (and possibly, even get some sleep)
Have Tora, Orion, Rosie and Dawn burn things for me (therefore a trip to Sim Lim square is in order)
Go to Jenny's place to burn everything that can't leave the house
Spend lots and lots of time with the gaming lot, SPYKBS and Jenny!
Meet all these damn cosplay people that I hear so much about (Rikka? Tessie? Alex? Who..?)
Edit HA (while drinking lots of coffee/red bull/brands. Plan to do whole thing in 2 sittings)
Learn basic guitar
Take out saxophone to clean (and scare the crap out of my juniors when I go back for it, lol!)

Er, that should be it. Pretty comprehensive, but if there're additions then I'll just stick them in larh.

Oh yes. And marry Sota while I'm at it.

*shakes head* Whatever you say, Adam...

Oy Tor, difficult and interesting lah. That's what you're there for, you know.

Was up in the choir loft for mass this evening. It's very difficult to keep a straight face on. Hmph, interpret that whichever way you please.

Went to Jack's place for dinner after that. Saw Olinder Cho, that girl from Singapore Idol. She's awfully polite, waving good-bye and taking pictures with random well-wishers. Very decent.

I got a burner! And it's portable so I can bring it to other people's houses who don't have burners and copy froody can't-leave-the-house stuff! *does victory dance*

Oh hell. Did I really do so badly for my prelims?! Aargh!!

Yes Vic, they're moderating it. So I end up failing only Accounts. It's still bad, I know!!

Oh, sorry about that Amanda, didn't notice 'cos I posted some time after that...

Hallo Adam. Thanks, you take care too.

Feeling random and crappy. Ack, have 4 maths papers to finish by Monday, think I'll go start now.

Have you ever smiled at someone, eventhough you felt like clawing their eyes out? It's better than actually going ahead and doing it 'cos, well, it's against the law and you'll also be a lot scarier that way.

It took me slightly more than one and a half years for Kunna to get on my nerves.

:)

Damn you Tora, get me hooked on Dir En Grey. Going to memorise the lyric for Cage now 'cos it's such a damned good song~

And on to more serious matters. Did horribly for the prelims, results are as follows:

Accounts- 43 (quite expected, didn't sleep the previous night)
SS/Lit- 48 (what a disgrace, to fail the subject I'm teaching at Hika)
Phy/Bio- 48.5
Geography- 49.9
E Maths- 61 (bloody easy paper though. Stupid me do the wrong question)
English- 70.5 (yes, I know it's terrible too. Gloria Ho, to just scrape a distinction, ack.)

Not freaking out because I've got too little blood in my sugar stream to do so.

Off to study now. Yes, it wasn't a proper post but haven't got much time now. Long list of things to do, both online and regarding school.

Oh, spread the word. Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, in collaboration with the Jim Henson company are coming up with a movie, teaser trailer at mirrormask. Haven't wanted to watch something so badly since Return of the King. They'll probably not release it here, so I'll have to get the DVD, even if it kills me.

Hallo Adam! What, are you implying that none of the others are friendly?!

Sap, Amanda, is rarely a good thing, in my humble opinion. And you're being rather random, aren't you? *glomp*

Hallo dearest Jenny! You're being random too... good luck for the exams, yes?

Er, hi to you too, Orion. Hope you're doing well, shall see you during CLB. (I passed it!)

You take care Althea, everytime I see you in class you seem quite tense. Look after yourself!