read an unmentionable blog recently. you know those random e-journals you stumble on when you're randomly surfing and it's all a random accident you're there at all? yeah, one of those.
after reading the latest entry, i realised that i knew this person. as i went down the entries, one jumped up at me. it went something like "WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO LINK MY BLOG? IT'S NOT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD!" or along those lines. quite obviously, i got my arse outta there straight away and there's no way im finding that site again.
so if your blog is not for all eyes, then why post on the internet? that's practically publishing it to the world, ain't it? everyone has problems. it's just how you choose to deal with it. write it down? draw it? talk to friends? talk to yourself even. putting it down, in an online diary, is a different matter. i understand the thinking, oh it's some kind of private thing with my inner circle...
with the internet, that's bullshit. it's internet for god's sake. it's where you do research, check your mail, chat with your friends, meet new people, check out blogs and mebe even have the occasional porn jump out at you.
for god's sake, i can even find the lyrics for 'i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts'.
things get around, ya know? the only way of having no one read what you post is, simply, not telling anyone where you've posted it.
ok. so what's a blog for? i've got mine cos i like writing and it's here that i do my occasional rambles and have opinions. you know everyone has different views and tastes, i like publishing mine on the net and finding out if anyone share them. don't bloody care if anyone's laughing at me, endorphins are good for you. come to think of it, i'd probably laugh at you too, if i read your blog.
right, going off to visit my daily blogs now. the best and longest blog i know, gotta be neil gaiman's. he's got an faq on it as well. and you find out things you ever knew, like he's coming to singapore!
Tuesday, February 18, 2003
aargh...!!! you've no idea how, how... crappy i am feeling now. no, not even fucked up is a strong enough word. fuck life, it's a bitch. bah, fuck everything!!! just want to throw my hands up in the air and give up.
suprisingly, it seems that school's the only thing i've got going for me. not being fucked up there. yet.
just got off the phone with my sister. she's having such a great time in london. hell, every phone call we have usually has her saying, come over here lah!? she also says that having a boyfriend is overrated and i shd heck choir, leave 'em and go join a better one else where. mebe i will do that, move church. you have no idea how nice that sounds.
you know what i think? i think i need a role model. my dad was a beng at this age, my mum was still biting boys, my sister's too wierd and nick's just plain nuts. and so is everyone else i know, or too young. as far as i can remember, no one i know wasn't a juvenile delinquent at this age, or neurotic.
you know what? maybe im too normal.
shit, i hate this. no, that's not it. i need a break. stop band, choir, school, church, tuition, band, choir and band. need to go away to a nice, preferbly quiet place and read a nice quiet book. like the wake(rachael's letting me borrow hers, in fact) or something like that.
or maybe i need a game.
suprisingly, it seems that school's the only thing i've got going for me. not being fucked up there. yet.
just got off the phone with my sister. she's having such a great time in london. hell, every phone call we have usually has her saying, come over here lah!? she also says that having a boyfriend is overrated and i shd heck choir, leave 'em and go join a better one else where. mebe i will do that, move church. you have no idea how nice that sounds.
you know what i think? i think i need a role model. my dad was a beng at this age, my mum was still biting boys, my sister's too wierd and nick's just plain nuts. and so is everyone else i know, or too young. as far as i can remember, no one i know wasn't a juvenile delinquent at this age, or neurotic.
you know what? maybe im too normal.
shit, i hate this. no, that's not it. i need a break. stop band, choir, school, church, tuition, band, choir and band. need to go away to a nice, preferbly quiet place and read a nice quiet book. like the wake(rachael's letting me borrow hers, in fact) or something like that.
or maybe i need a game.
Monday, February 10, 2003
damn. band today was horrible. hate mr chan. i give up, whatever. but, still love my saxophone.
did i mention? it was my birthday on saturday. horrible day, mr chan was crappy. my long-time friends(of 9 years) were crappy. all 3 of them forgot it was my birthday. i know theirs, of course, 30th sept for val, christmas for jean and charmaine's somewhere in august.
feeling rather depressed now. did not have b'day cake, however, received 60 dollars of b'day hong bao. go me! and blew it on lotr collector's cards. feeling guilty for it, but rather well spent. can sell on e bay eventually.
the only nice thing that happened for my b'day was that nick, g and wei wen came over in the middle of the night to give me muffins, with candles stuck in them. it was nearly 1 in the morning and nick happily called me on my phone,'open the door!' . was stunned for a while, can't believe they did that. so nice! mebe i'll do it for jenny on her b'day, she seemed to be very fascinated by the idea that they bothered to come over. it would have been really nice if raymond were there, actually. but he had a hard day and was tired. oh well. still can't believe they did that!
saxophone section also gave me a slice of cake after lunch. stuck a candle in it. very cute! also attempted to play 'happy b'day' on the sax, valiant effort. i know, im sounding rather bimbotic today. i'm tired, did 2.4 and circuit training for PE, followed by pickle ball, ow arms aching. not very good at ball games, or sport for that matter.
went out on sunday. met kenny, jamie's new stead. rather nice chap, easy going, think of him like an older brother. he's 16, taking... double science i think? they make a good match, in any case.
that's all i can write for now. did everything off the top of my head, just feel like writing, you know the feeling?
got 9 periods with 8 subjects tmr. aargh.
did i mention? it was my birthday on saturday. horrible day, mr chan was crappy. my long-time friends(of 9 years) were crappy. all 3 of them forgot it was my birthday. i know theirs, of course, 30th sept for val, christmas for jean and charmaine's somewhere in august.
feeling rather depressed now. did not have b'day cake, however, received 60 dollars of b'day hong bao. go me! and blew it on lotr collector's cards. feeling guilty for it, but rather well spent. can sell on e bay eventually.
the only nice thing that happened for my b'day was that nick, g and wei wen came over in the middle of the night to give me muffins, with candles stuck in them. it was nearly 1 in the morning and nick happily called me on my phone,'open the door!' . was stunned for a while, can't believe they did that. so nice! mebe i'll do it for jenny on her b'day, she seemed to be very fascinated by the idea that they bothered to come over. it would have been really nice if raymond were there, actually. but he had a hard day and was tired. oh well. still can't believe they did that!
saxophone section also gave me a slice of cake after lunch. stuck a candle in it. very cute! also attempted to play 'happy b'day' on the sax, valiant effort. i know, im sounding rather bimbotic today. i'm tired, did 2.4 and circuit training for PE, followed by pickle ball, ow arms aching. not very good at ball games, or sport for that matter.
went out on sunday. met kenny, jamie's new stead. rather nice chap, easy going, think of him like an older brother. he's 16, taking... double science i think? they make a good match, in any case.
that's all i can write for now. did everything off the top of my head, just feel like writing, you know the feeling?
got 9 periods with 8 subjects tmr. aargh.
Friday, February 07, 2003
really was not looking forward to band today. but, sometimes i forget how much i love playing the saxhophone(not that im any good at it). also learned that the whole band has to run a few rounds tmr, 30% of the girls who are in TAF club are in band. bloody hell, i don't need this, im underweight! why not jut ask the TAF girls to run? or is Mr Chan(band teacher-in-charge) trying to intergret a sense of unity and commradreship(is that how you spell it?) in the band? whatever it is, i think he's acting for the good of the band, should have some trust in him yes? eventhough i wish i could damn him to the deepest pits of hell? emotion against logic, hate that.
checked out priscilla's blog. she's so expressive, more than she is usually when you talk to her. she's got a great voice, i always sing with her during band, very ironic. she used to be in her primary school choir for, 5? years and got sick of if. like me, she needed a break and decided to join band. doesn't mean she hate singing, we actually sing evey band prac. but if Mr Chan ever catches us... it'll be "off with their heads!"
eldred called yesterday. he's an old friend of my sister's and our neighbour as well, wanted to know how he could contact my sis in London 'cos siu bunn(another friend) will be making a trip there. ended up talking to him for the next 2 hours or so, we talked about everything! from the sucky education system in singapore to CYF (church group) to neil gaiman. haven't had a conversation like that in a long time. actually it was more of me listening to what he had to say, his views are bloody fascinating.
apparently, he's going to canada to study for the next 3 years or so, leaving in august, i think. toria, if you're reading this, he asks if you could send pictures of london to him(doing sandman sketch/story, dunno which)as well as how to contact you? thanks.
aargh, had accounts test today. hope i don't fail, both my parents are bankers, does that help?
checked out priscilla's blog. she's so expressive, more than she is usually when you talk to her. she's got a great voice, i always sing with her during band, very ironic. she used to be in her primary school choir for, 5? years and got sick of if. like me, she needed a break and decided to join band. doesn't mean she hate singing, we actually sing evey band prac. but if Mr Chan ever catches us... it'll be "off with their heads!"
eldred called yesterday. he's an old friend of my sister's and our neighbour as well, wanted to know how he could contact my sis in London 'cos siu bunn(another friend) will be making a trip there. ended up talking to him for the next 2 hours or so, we talked about everything! from the sucky education system in singapore to CYF (church group) to neil gaiman. haven't had a conversation like that in a long time. actually it was more of me listening to what he had to say, his views are bloody fascinating.
apparently, he's going to canada to study for the next 3 years or so, leaving in august, i think. toria, if you're reading this, he asks if you could send pictures of london to him(doing sandman sketch/story, dunno which)as well as how to contact you? thanks.
aargh, had accounts test today. hope i don't fail, both my parents are bankers, does that help?
Thursday, February 06, 2003
Silver Dragon
Who is your dragon spirit guide?
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got this from rachael's blog. most fascinating.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I actually enjoy shocking most people, it's fun and usually entertaining.
- Rachael Law, on her blog
I managed to download the font for Elvish and Dwarven. haha Damn cool!!!!! now i know how to write elvish, just have to learn how to speak it... I'm not that die hard lah, just thought it would be cool.
- Marcus, on his blog
yes i know, i have yet to put up my links and whatnot. will do it, eventually. trying to change the format of my blog, it's bloody difficult, i think i'll just ask clarissa to do it for me, dammit.
rachael's a cool person, she's one of the only people able to freak me out. other then my sister, she's the only person i know who's actually read the sandman. damn it, she's got the whole series, parents got it for her b'dae, last year i think. how lucky can you get?
marcus is crazy, he's got NO bloody idea what he's talking about. even with the elvish/dwarven font it doesn't mean you can write elvish/dwarvish. language is not something you speak frivolously about, especially languages that are, well, not real? and elvish is the language, the script is called tengwar (created by this elf named feanor, who's dead actually). god, how i dislike these people who have no idea what they're talking about(no offense marcus!) it's not as if im an expert at elvish, i haven't the faintest idea how to write it, but i can at least differentiate quenya and sindarin.
if only i were this interested in chinese.
ok, i'll stop ranting now. which reminds me, there's this really good elvish site, http://www.uib.no/People/hnohf/ . will put it in links when i have time.
aargh, accounts test on friday!
- Rachael Law, on her blog
I managed to download the font for Elvish and Dwarven. haha Damn cool!!!!! now i know how to write elvish, just have to learn how to speak it... I'm not that die hard lah, just thought it would be cool.
- Marcus, on his blog
yes i know, i have yet to put up my links and whatnot. will do it, eventually. trying to change the format of my blog, it's bloody difficult, i think i'll just ask clarissa to do it for me, dammit.
rachael's a cool person, she's one of the only people able to freak me out. other then my sister, she's the only person i know who's actually read the sandman. damn it, she's got the whole series, parents got it for her b'dae, last year i think. how lucky can you get?
marcus is crazy, he's got NO bloody idea what he's talking about. even with the elvish/dwarven font it doesn't mean you can write elvish/dwarvish. language is not something you speak frivolously about, especially languages that are, well, not real? and elvish is the language, the script is called tengwar (created by this elf named feanor, who's dead actually). god, how i dislike these people who have no idea what they're talking about(no offense marcus!) it's not as if im an expert at elvish, i haven't the faintest idea how to write it, but i can at least differentiate quenya and sindarin.
if only i were this interested in chinese.
ok, i'll stop ranting now. which reminds me, there's this really good elvish site, http://www.uib.no/People/hnohf/ . will put it in links when i have time.
aargh, accounts test on friday!
Sunday, February 02, 2003
whew.
i haven't forgotten abt this blog, yet. it's been a damned long time since i wrote. been busy, esp since school's reopened. im in one of the worst classes in the school, just 'cos i failed math last year. this combination ain't so bad actually, at least there's pure geography in it.
so many things have happened these few weeks. my sister broke up with her boyfriend back here in singapore, i dunno how to react to that. im still pretty good friends with him though, he's not like the others. all her past boyfriends(and their friends) were never this nice to me, just treated me like something extra, to tolerate. i suppose i am, but they don't know the first thing about me. i call nick up, once in a while. he's really easy to talk to, like as if he were my age(which i guess, in a way he still is). it's interesting, his views on certain subjects, i wouldn't get comments like that from anyone else i know.
Nick - im going to cryogenically freeze myself
me - what if you wake up and find the world a barren wasteland?
nick - we gamers and pessimistic by nature, so others would probably have hidden in caves and such. i'll source out other gamers, sit down and have a game.
(note: i can't remember exactly what he said, but it goes along those lines)
c'mon. how many pple do you know will give you an answer like that?
what else has happened? yarh, got into the class comm. position of secretary, i mostly just take minutes during meetings and try help the treasurer. we meet up with our form teacher, mrs kunna, every friday. she's our math teacher as well, sometimes when she sees a girl being distracted, she'll stop the lesson and go 'focus girls, you must focus!' it's bloody annoying. there was once she gave us a break, so i took out my literature work and started writing, which she bloody confiscated! when i asked for it back after the lesson, she spat out something about being in the class comm and 'being focused' during math. what the hell, what was the point of that so called 'break' then?? whatever, i'll just leave it.
that's pretty much all i can write for now, will try to write again soon.
aargh, gotta go to me grandma's house tmr. have i ever mentioned that my relatives(from my mother' side) think my sister and i have been brought up heathen? well, there're the uncivilliazed ones, so there!!
physics test on tuesday. aargh.
i haven't forgotten abt this blog, yet. it's been a damned long time since i wrote. been busy, esp since school's reopened. im in one of the worst classes in the school, just 'cos i failed math last year. this combination ain't so bad actually, at least there's pure geography in it.
so many things have happened these few weeks. my sister broke up with her boyfriend back here in singapore, i dunno how to react to that. im still pretty good friends with him though, he's not like the others. all her past boyfriends(and their friends) were never this nice to me, just treated me like something extra, to tolerate. i suppose i am, but they don't know the first thing about me. i call nick up, once in a while. he's really easy to talk to, like as if he were my age(which i guess, in a way he still is). it's interesting, his views on certain subjects, i wouldn't get comments like that from anyone else i know.
Nick - im going to cryogenically freeze myself
me - what if you wake up and find the world a barren wasteland?
nick - we gamers and pessimistic by nature, so others would probably have hidden in caves and such. i'll source out other gamers, sit down and have a game.
(note: i can't remember exactly what he said, but it goes along those lines)
c'mon. how many pple do you know will give you an answer like that?
what else has happened? yarh, got into the class comm. position of secretary, i mostly just take minutes during meetings and try help the treasurer. we meet up with our form teacher, mrs kunna, every friday. she's our math teacher as well, sometimes when she sees a girl being distracted, she'll stop the lesson and go 'focus girls, you must focus!' it's bloody annoying. there was once she gave us a break, so i took out my literature work and started writing, which she bloody confiscated! when i asked for it back after the lesson, she spat out something about being in the class comm and 'being focused' during math. what the hell, what was the point of that so called 'break' then?? whatever, i'll just leave it.
that's pretty much all i can write for now, will try to write again soon.
aargh, gotta go to me grandma's house tmr. have i ever mentioned that my relatives(from my mother' side) think my sister and i have been brought up heathen? well, there're the uncivilliazed ones, so there!!
physics test on tuesday. aargh.
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