If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

In the bookstore the other day, I saw a book entitled "Sex for Dummies"... Why would someone want to teach dumb people how to reproduce? Aren't there enough of them alive already?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

If you have your finger touching the rear-view mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?