Why is it now I feel like I have lost my ability to communicate effectively? Why is it so much more difficult to put abstract thoughts into words, now? It feels like the part of my brain that is committed to that just wandered off. But the thoughts are still rattling in my head, why is that?
Or maybe I never really had to explain things I have always taken for granted. It's not quite like having been thrown into the deep end, but rather... that I'm lost perhaps, in a place or without my gear.
I could use a bit of help. But that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Hello.
I should be okay. I am feeling much better now. I would like to think that everyone has their little moments, where they want to write something like that out of frustration. No, there is no one trying to hurt me, except maybe myself, in which case it doesn't quite count.
Thank you the people on MSN who have prodded me. You know who you are.
----
I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve, apparently not. I thought I let people in easily, apparently I don't. I thought I would fall in love easily, and yet I don't even know what love is. And all of this, I had to find out by way of someone I've known for half a semester.
And along come my friends who say, well yes, that's what you've been all along, really. I have such a dismal sense of self awareness. I'm not even sure if I know myself, who am I and who is Other People.
Things about yourself that you have always taken for granted. And one day you find out that you've been fooling only yourself. And doing a damn fine job at that.
And last week we started philosophy lectures on existentialism. I so win at life.
He goes by the name of Matthew. I have shocked myself by choosing to spend time with him rather than WoW. I am thinking maybe this might mean that I like him more than I am aware of.
I should be okay. I am feeling much better now. I would like to think that everyone has their little moments, where they want to write something like that out of frustration. No, there is no one trying to hurt me, except maybe myself, in which case it doesn't quite count.
Thank you the people on MSN who have prodded me. You know who you are.
----
I thought I wore my heart on my sleeve, apparently not. I thought I let people in easily, apparently I don't. I thought I would fall in love easily, and yet I don't even know what love is. And all of this, I had to find out by way of someone I've known for half a semester.
And along come my friends who say, well yes, that's what you've been all along, really. I have such a dismal sense of self awareness. I'm not even sure if I know myself, who am I and who is Other People.
Things about yourself that you have always taken for granted. And one day you find out that you've been fooling only yourself. And doing a damn fine job at that.
And last week we started philosophy lectures on existentialism. I so win at life.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Why are you? She can feel you. She can hear you laughing. But yet you keep drawing her in and in and there is blood everywhere.
You tempted her and she stupidly, fell for it. She stupidly followed. Now she is lost in a hall of mirrors. She is trying to find the set of doors, if there are any. She does not know what to do when she gets there. She will smash the mirrors soon.
She cannot breathe or think or feel. She cannot be.
You tempted her and she stupidly, fell for it. She stupidly followed. Now she is lost in a hall of mirrors. She is trying to find the set of doors, if there are any. She does not know what to do when she gets there. She will smash the mirrors soon.
She cannot breathe or think or feel. She cannot be.