The hols have started! On with the busy festive months! I love the feeling of -doing- things. Like runnng errands or Christmas shopping in town, where there are people everywhere and you're just zipping from place to place, working through the crowd like a Kender.
A whirl of bags and stream of phone calls... left, right, and a left again, to the underpass then waltzing out into the sunlight and weaving past a gaggle of teenagers, a family with a crying child, past the lovers sharing an ice cream...
I love this Christmas, not having to worry about taking care of my voice or the over packed scheduele.
Been in town alot recently, due to sick aunt staying at Mount E. Strolling through the streets arm in arm with my younger cousin Peter this evening. Got a balloon off his younger sister. Is bobbing on my finger as I type right now! The giant Taka tree is out, decor soon to come.
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed...
I'm starting to remember why I loved Christmas as a child...
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Am through to next year! By the skin of my teeth, so have to continue mugging. Somebody kill me please!
I like Econs. Really, I do. And I'm not just saying this because Wen might read this journal either. But, it's just so damned difficult to do. So I've to go for more tuition this holiday. On the bright side, Wen was nice about me failing. Wen's the best tuition teacher ever~!
So like that lah. Think I've to bring homework over to London. Bleah.
Rumours say that Mirrormask was going to be brought to Singapore, but haven't seen publicity for it yet. Judging by the response to Gaiman's trip here, they should recognise that there is a market to be exploited. I -do- hope that it eventually gets here. Keyword here being eventually.
Did you know that the director for Brothers Grmm did The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (if that's how you spell it)? I loved that movie. Never seen the DVD around though. The scene where the baron took rope from the top of the rope they were climbing down of, will never cease to amuse me.
You ah. I'm worried about you leh. Don't be depressed ok? I'll come and pester you in a few months, then you'll be too embarrased to be seen with your scruffy teenaged sister to be lonely. *hugg~
Oh, by the way. Got this off LiveJournal (I do have an account there you know).
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
(Feel free to repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.)
I like Econs. Really, I do. And I'm not just saying this because Wen might read this journal either. But, it's just so damned difficult to do. So I've to go for more tuition this holiday. On the bright side, Wen was nice about me failing. Wen's the best tuition teacher ever~!
So like that lah. Think I've to bring homework over to London. Bleah.
Rumours say that Mirrormask was going to be brought to Singapore, but haven't seen publicity for it yet. Judging by the response to Gaiman's trip here, they should recognise that there is a market to be exploited. I -do- hope that it eventually gets here. Keyword here being eventually.
Did you know that the director for Brothers Grmm did The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (if that's how you spell it)? I loved that movie. Never seen the DVD around though. The scene where the baron took rope from the top of the rope they were climbing down of, will never cease to amuse me.
You ah. I'm worried about you leh. Don't be depressed ok? I'll come and pester you in a few months, then you'll be too embarrased to be seen with your scruffy teenaged sister to be lonely. *hugg~
Oh, by the way. Got this off LiveJournal (I do have an account there you know).
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
(Feel free to repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong.)
Monday, October 24, 2005
TOR AGAIN!
Argh! Forgot to say that I've got the LAST ticket for Mirrormask on the 1st of Nov. I can hardly believe it myself. I knew it was coming with the London Film Festival and was just talking about booking tickets, but forgot. So this morning I woke up bright and early, went down to leicester square, and tried to get tickets for all the other shows I want to watch too.
'Ok, the most important is Mirrormask', I said. 'Oops, sold out.' 'What?! No. You're kidding me. Please be kidding me.' 'Wait I'll check. Oh... there's one left.'
'I'll take it!'
So now Mirrormask is all sold out, 1 and 1/2 weeks before it is due to show. Cost me £10. I'm also gonna see is Everything is Illuminated and the Brothers Grimm. Will report back on how it goes.
Argh! Forgot to say that I've got the LAST ticket for Mirrormask on the 1st of Nov. I can hardly believe it myself. I knew it was coming with the London Film Festival and was just talking about booking tickets, but forgot. So this morning I woke up bright and early, went down to leicester square, and tried to get tickets for all the other shows I want to watch too.
'Ok, the most important is Mirrormask', I said. 'Oops, sold out.' 'What?! No. You're kidding me. Please be kidding me.' 'Wait I'll check. Oh... there's one left.'
'I'll take it!'
So now Mirrormask is all sold out, 1 and 1/2 weeks before it is due to show. Cost me £10. I'm also gonna see is Everything is Illuminated and the Brothers Grimm. Will report back on how it goes.
THIS IS TOR
I maintain that a little bit of navel-gazing now and then, the occassional bout of introspection, is healthy, even necessary, in a well-adjusted person. As a wise man once said, there's nothing wrong with being self-absorbed if you are interesting enough to justify it.
So it comes to pass that at some point in the lifetimes of every girl who is sufficiently self-aware, this question must be asked: which character am I in Sex and the City?
The other day five such individuals were making merry in a Holborn pub after a hard day's work. That entailed serious discussions on topics ranging from the most interesting place we've ever had sex in, to the nature of our desire to be like, or to live the lives of, television characters.
The answer to the first was a draw between 'under a weeping willow in a Montreal garden' and 'the backseat of a car on the Brighton sea front'. The answer to the other was slightly tricker.
Nick pointed out that for the boys, it was in fact not one question but two. Which girl would you like to be with, versus which girl you would eventually end up with. Unsurprisingly, they plumped for a night with Samantha but a lifetime with Carrie.
However, the girls as one said, 'Miranda'. Generally considered by men to be the least conventionally attractive of the group, yet the most intelligent and career-oriented, we identified with her the most.
But something struck me and I turned to nick-- girls have two levels also. Everyone wants to be Carrie but we can't say that that's who we are in case guys take one look at us and go, 'huh'. We all want to be pretty and fun, carefree and creative, effortlessly stylish and intelligent and strong.
But the bunch of us here, we've sold out. We don't dare say we're pretty and fun. We may say we're reasonably attractive (as indeed that's what I think of myself), and good conversationalists, but pretty and fun? No. We set store by our intellect, our ambition, our independence, our mannish qualities. Our confidence does not derive from our looks. We do not practise the art of the smile and glance, play the coquette, ask for lights for our cigarettes. We are to be men's colleagues, first, and their love interests second. They must know us for what we do, then, who we are. 'Carefree and creative' are not words to describe the image of the City lawyer we will all be. We're afraid to be Carrie. We might've been, once, or could be, in the future, but that is not who we are.
So he shakes his head, "ah! the fatalism of the young!" Why trap yourself in a self-fulfilling prophecy? I could hardly bear to tell him that this is all we know.
I maintain that a little bit of navel-gazing now and then, the occassional bout of introspection, is healthy, even necessary, in a well-adjusted person. As a wise man once said, there's nothing wrong with being self-absorbed if you are interesting enough to justify it.
So it comes to pass that at some point in the lifetimes of every girl who is sufficiently self-aware, this question must be asked: which character am I in Sex and the City?
The other day five such individuals were making merry in a Holborn pub after a hard day's work. That entailed serious discussions on topics ranging from the most interesting place we've ever had sex in, to the nature of our desire to be like, or to live the lives of, television characters.
The answer to the first was a draw between 'under a weeping willow in a Montreal garden' and 'the backseat of a car on the Brighton sea front'. The answer to the other was slightly tricker.
Nick pointed out that for the boys, it was in fact not one question but two. Which girl would you like to be with, versus which girl you would eventually end up with. Unsurprisingly, they plumped for a night with Samantha but a lifetime with Carrie.
However, the girls as one said, 'Miranda'. Generally considered by men to be the least conventionally attractive of the group, yet the most intelligent and career-oriented, we identified with her the most.
But something struck me and I turned to nick-- girls have two levels also. Everyone wants to be Carrie but we can't say that that's who we are in case guys take one look at us and go, 'huh'. We all want to be pretty and fun, carefree and creative, effortlessly stylish and intelligent and strong.
But the bunch of us here, we've sold out. We don't dare say we're pretty and fun. We may say we're reasonably attractive (as indeed that's what I think of myself), and good conversationalists, but pretty and fun? No. We set store by our intellect, our ambition, our independence, our mannish qualities. Our confidence does not derive from our looks. We do not practise the art of the smile and glance, play the coquette, ask for lights for our cigarettes. We are to be men's colleagues, first, and their love interests second. They must know us for what we do, then, who we are. 'Carefree and creative' are not words to describe the image of the City lawyer we will all be. We're afraid to be Carrie. We might've been, once, or could be, in the future, but that is not who we are.
So he shakes his head, "ah! the fatalism of the young!" Why trap yourself in a self-fulfilling prophecy? I could hardly bear to tell him that this is all we know.
Friday, October 21, 2005
THIS IS TOR
Many thanks for all the birthday greetings!
Oh! I cringe when I read my BolBol poem. It really is quite personal, isn't it? I'm not sure if it is appropriate to exhibit my dysfunction so openly. Anyway, I feel okay now after having had a very good birthday. I think breaking up with him may have been the best thing I've done all year (well, actually, no, the best was going to new york for free) because, cliched as it is, it has made me realise who my friends are etc etc. You see, my problem is that I am a serial monogamist and I've never really had to depend on my friends just cos the next guy has always been waiting to catch me. Now, there is no next guy!
Or to put it differently, there are a variety of possible next guys to choose from. *rubbing hands in evil anticipation*
I was very pleased to receive calls from some friends in SG in the morning so I feel loved now. And I had a really lovely time at drinks, and dinner and the club later with my hot friend Leila who always gets guys to buy her drinks (and me by proxy, haha! suckers!) I looked around the dinner table and thought, damn! my friends are cool. And then proceeded to slide gently and slowly into inebriation. Am pleased about prezzies too. (Ok, now starting to sound a little like a 12 year old, but I'm still hungover, bear with me) For the first time in my life, I got 2 dozen roses! And nice books and CDs, and Flor gave me a pot of purple flowers for mky windowsill too.
So that was tuesday. On wednesday I went out with my class as it was another girl's birthday on monday, and mine was tuesday so we decided to combine it and make a night out of it. The class bought us a cake and when it came out, the waiters threw pizza dough all over us. It must be some kind of strange italian tradition, but by then I really was more interested in the flaming shots of sambuca everyone was suddenly thrusting at me. I looked around the dinner table and thought, damn! I like my classmates. They are cool. Good conversation, good wine, good food (for london, and for the price)... what more could you ask for for a good night out?
Actually, it looks like it might happen all over again, as I'm meeting the LSE Jessup crowd tonight, I'm helping out with selection and Jim's gone and told everyone that it's my birthday so they're gearing up for a big night out. I don't know how much more of this I can take, I haven't done any work whatsoever this week and am trying to cram in an hour's work for tomorrow's assignment which I have to hand in.
Many thanks for all the birthday greetings!
Oh! I cringe when I read my BolBol poem. It really is quite personal, isn't it? I'm not sure if it is appropriate to exhibit my dysfunction so openly. Anyway, I feel okay now after having had a very good birthday. I think breaking up with him may have been the best thing I've done all year (well, actually, no, the best was going to new york for free) because, cliched as it is, it has made me realise who my friends are etc etc. You see, my problem is that I am a serial monogamist and I've never really had to depend on my friends just cos the next guy has always been waiting to catch me. Now, there is no next guy!
Or to put it differently, there are a variety of possible next guys to choose from. *rubbing hands in evil anticipation*
I was very pleased to receive calls from some friends in SG in the morning so I feel loved now. And I had a really lovely time at drinks, and dinner and the club later with my hot friend Leila who always gets guys to buy her drinks (and me by proxy, haha! suckers!) I looked around the dinner table and thought, damn! my friends are cool. And then proceeded to slide gently and slowly into inebriation. Am pleased about prezzies too. (Ok, now starting to sound a little like a 12 year old, but I'm still hungover, bear with me) For the first time in my life, I got 2 dozen roses! And nice books and CDs, and Flor gave me a pot of purple flowers for mky windowsill too.
So that was tuesday. On wednesday I went out with my class as it was another girl's birthday on monday, and mine was tuesday so we decided to combine it and make a night out of it. The class bought us a cake and when it came out, the waiters threw pizza dough all over us. It must be some kind of strange italian tradition, but by then I really was more interested in the flaming shots of sambuca everyone was suddenly thrusting at me. I looked around the dinner table and thought, damn! I like my classmates. They are cool. Good conversation, good wine, good food (for london, and for the price)... what more could you ask for for a good night out?
Actually, it looks like it might happen all over again, as I'm meeting the LSE Jessup crowd tonight, I'm helping out with selection and Jim's gone and told everyone that it's my birthday so they're gearing up for a big night out. I don't know how much more of this I can take, I haven't done any work whatsoever this week and am trying to cram in an hour's work for tomorrow's assignment which I have to hand in.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
*looks at tagboard* Many thanks, Grace.
Happy Birthday, my dear sister! Hope you got the mail we sent. It's in 2 parts, remember ok? Oh, so you don't have a boyfriend that goes 'super cool hawker food ' anymore. Play the field man. And you'll have to cook for me, when I'm there!
To cheer you up, there is always Bolbol! Plus the poem you wrote for it is still lying around the house...
Ode To Bolbol
Happiness is a warm bolster smelling like youself
With Bolbol to squeeze sleep is joy itself
The nice mushy inside all squishy and snug
The softness of Bolbol yielding to a hug
Anytime anywhere a bolster is good
'cos smelling Bolbol is happy food
I doesn't matter what's inside it
Even though it's dustmite corpses and shit
'cos they're vacummed out by the $3000 machine
And think of how clean Bolbol's been
Since the bol case was changed last year
So there's really nothing to fear.
From the thing that brings happiness to me
The nicest bolster all the world can see.
Happy Birthday, my dear sister! Hope you got the mail we sent. It's in 2 parts, remember ok? Oh, so you don't have a boyfriend that goes 'super cool hawker food ' anymore. Play the field man. And you'll have to cook for me, when I'm there!
To cheer you up, there is always Bolbol! Plus the poem you wrote for it is still lying around the house...
Ode To Bolbol
Happiness is a warm bolster smelling like youself
With Bolbol to squeeze sleep is joy itself
The nice mushy inside all squishy and snug
The softness of Bolbol yielding to a hug
Anytime anywhere a bolster is good
'cos smelling Bolbol is happy food
I doesn't matter what's inside it
Even though it's dustmite corpses and shit
'cos they're vacummed out by the $3000 machine
And think of how clean Bolbol's been
Since the bol case was changed last year
So there's really nothing to fear.
From the thing that brings happiness to me
The nicest bolster all the world can see.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
THIS IS TOR
I am newly single. For the first time in years. Weeerrgh! Although it is a bit lonely and sad in my house now, with no one to cook for, I think it was the right decision for the Long Run. Seeing people my age getting married (1 girl in my class came straight from her honeymoon for start of term and the guy who sits opposite me is getting hitched in March in a castle in Austria. woah.) has totally scared the shit out of me. James is 30. Do I want to marry him? No. Has he asked me? No, but it's only a matter of time and we'd been together 2 years already.
So it was time to take stock of what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. He wanted to go home. I have to stay here. He basically wanted to settle down. And I've spent a loooong time in stable relationships. And I was getting very tired of having to be with somebody who isn't really there, who hates the place he's in, who spouts vitriol about the people he is surrounded by. In new age terms, it was just too much negative energy. So that's that. Until something interesting happens in my love life-- well, actually, until I'm ready for something interesting to happen-- it's gonna be solitary evenings, strictly me-time, cooking for my friends or crazy partying.
I am newly single. For the first time in years. Weeerrgh! Although it is a bit lonely and sad in my house now, with no one to cook for, I think it was the right decision for the Long Run. Seeing people my age getting married (1 girl in my class came straight from her honeymoon for start of term and the guy who sits opposite me is getting hitched in March in a castle in Austria. woah.) has totally scared the shit out of me. James is 30. Do I want to marry him? No. Has he asked me? No, but it's only a matter of time and we'd been together 2 years already.
So it was time to take stock of what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. He wanted to go home. I have to stay here. He basically wanted to settle down. And I've spent a loooong time in stable relationships. And I was getting very tired of having to be with somebody who isn't really there, who hates the place he's in, who spouts vitriol about the people he is surrounded by. In new age terms, it was just too much negative energy. So that's that. Until something interesting happens in my love life-- well, actually, until I'm ready for something interesting to happen-- it's gonna be solitary evenings, strictly me-time, cooking for my friends or crazy partying.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Oh my lord, I just woke up. That must have been some kind of sleep of the dead one gets after the exams, or something. Didn't bother going for the post exam activities the school thoughtfully organised for us, simply because I think I would have dropped dead from bordem or exhaustion or maybe both. I don't like sports that make you run around alot, no.
Do feel bad for not turning up to get my fencing jacket off Cephas, my fencing captain. Heh, always have this urge to call him buchou, really. Have this vague impression that he called this morning to ask where I was. I hope I apologised. Don't you hate asnwering the phone in your sleep and having conversations you aren't quite aware of?
Fencing. I know I just said that I don't like sports, but I figured it would be a cool thing to join. A bit of a change from performance arts. I've just realised that I'm afraid to commit. That's why I'm so slack about it, something that was almost unheard of with choir and band.
I'm tired of putting in so much blood and sweat but not getting much in return. I mean look, the greatest achievement I had in band was singing for the last concert. And in choir I never really ment much to them. Doesn't mean I didn't have any fun singing or playing though. It simply stopped being about the music somewhere along the way, and started being a duty, more than anythig else. I wanted to progress, but that wasn't happening much. I sound like a snob, but I'm simply stating my feelings. Thinking about how static the choir was just serves to make me annoyed. For both, we'd get scoldings all the bloody time.
But here in fencing... you fence only for yourself. It's not a group thing anymore, where you work together to sound good. It doesn't matter when you've got a different style or anything like that. I keep on forgetting that this is a sport, anything that matters to you, only matters to you. I used to get pissed off when someone couldn't hit that god easy note, but that doesn't happen here.
Besides, the people in fencing actually love doing it, they're not here because of friends or anything. It's not a duty to them. So much so that I was the only person left at the booth during Open House, everyone else was all over the place having bouts. I guess I'm the only person who wants to tell others how fun fencing really is. I do give a damn about it, you know.
Time to get back on the horse.
Do feel bad for not turning up to get my fencing jacket off Cephas, my fencing captain. Heh, always have this urge to call him buchou, really. Have this vague impression that he called this morning to ask where I was. I hope I apologised. Don't you hate asnwering the phone in your sleep and having conversations you aren't quite aware of?
Fencing. I know I just said that I don't like sports, but I figured it would be a cool thing to join. A bit of a change from performance arts. I've just realised that I'm afraid to commit. That's why I'm so slack about it, something that was almost unheard of with choir and band.
I'm tired of putting in so much blood and sweat but not getting much in return. I mean look, the greatest achievement I had in band was singing for the last concert. And in choir I never really ment much to them. Doesn't mean I didn't have any fun singing or playing though. It simply stopped being about the music somewhere along the way, and started being a duty, more than anythig else. I wanted to progress, but that wasn't happening much. I sound like a snob, but I'm simply stating my feelings. Thinking about how static the choir was just serves to make me annoyed. For both, we'd get scoldings all the bloody time.
But here in fencing... you fence only for yourself. It's not a group thing anymore, where you work together to sound good. It doesn't matter when you've got a different style or anything like that. I keep on forgetting that this is a sport, anything that matters to you, only matters to you. I used to get pissed off when someone couldn't hit that god easy note, but that doesn't happen here.
Besides, the people in fencing actually love doing it, they're not here because of friends or anything. It's not a duty to them. So much so that I was the only person left at the booth during Open House, everyone else was all over the place having bouts. I guess I'm the only person who wants to tell others how fun fencing really is. I do give a damn about it, you know.
Time to get back on the horse.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
In middle of exam marathon. Not including National Education, we've got 4 papers to go, ending next Wednesday. Alright, a week more then.
Don't even know why they make us take the stupid NE exam anyway, at least put it in a decent timeslot and not in the middle of the afternoon lunch-ish sort of time larh. I know people have exams in the morning before that but it just serves to make them irritated, no? NE preventing them from going off, and all that. On the bright side, at least people like me who don't have exams that morning can sleep in. But really, it doesn't even matter when we fail the thing.
I can't help but think that it would be better for us to have nice breaks between our papers, so that we've got more time to study, instead of freaking out by the fact that we've got papers one after another. Ach, I suppose it's better than those in poly, I hear they have projects due all the freaking time, even if they don't have exams. I'd rather do exams really, especially when I know what I'm talking about.
I've just come to a conclusion; I learn most during lectures, like when we're under pressure to have to understand why exactly a monopoly makes so much money. I need to invest in a tape recorder, as Khayce suggested. That's why I couldn't do the Long Day's Journey essay properly today, I'd missed a couple of important lectures. I am quite hating myself for that, so I've got to be more selective about ponning school now.
And, I've only just noticed, after doing more than 10 years worth of exams, that I silently read what I write. With a start I'd realised that my lips were moving while I was talking about Huxley's use of irony. Bloody hell, I'm even doing it now. Wonder why I'd never noticed before.
Like that larh. Need to go do geog now.
Don't even know why they make us take the stupid NE exam anyway, at least put it in a decent timeslot and not in the middle of the afternoon lunch-ish sort of time larh. I know people have exams in the morning before that but it just serves to make them irritated, no? NE preventing them from going off, and all that. On the bright side, at least people like me who don't have exams that morning can sleep in. But really, it doesn't even matter when we fail the thing.
I can't help but think that it would be better for us to have nice breaks between our papers, so that we've got more time to study, instead of freaking out by the fact that we've got papers one after another. Ach, I suppose it's better than those in poly, I hear they have projects due all the freaking time, even if they don't have exams. I'd rather do exams really, especially when I know what I'm talking about.
I've just come to a conclusion; I learn most during lectures, like when we're under pressure to have to understand why exactly a monopoly makes so much money. I need to invest in a tape recorder, as Khayce suggested. That's why I couldn't do the Long Day's Journey essay properly today, I'd missed a couple of important lectures. I am quite hating myself for that, so I've got to be more selective about ponning school now.
And, I've only just noticed, after doing more than 10 years worth of exams, that I silently read what I write. With a start I'd realised that my lips were moving while I was talking about Huxley's use of irony. Bloody hell, I'm even doing it now. Wonder why I'd never noticed before.
Like that larh. Need to go do geog now.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
I am that child who loved wandering outside in the estate, parents mad with worry. I am that child who hated the gate when it was locked, or when the stairs were barred, with my sister on the other side making fun of me (yes, I still remember that).
I am the sister who will never be as good as you are. I am that sister whom you have shaped in so many ways, more than you know, who misses you very much too.
I am the reason you continue to work, not letting you retire early. I am that daughter who sees you coming back late everyday, and listens to your conversations about work over dinner.
I am the granddaughter who never appreciated you until you were gone.
I am that student who has spent 10 good years in a convent, the blue pinafoe marking me for life, even if I don't wear it anymore.
I am the band member who would sing with you during sectionals, instead of play the saxophone. I am the same who left the school having that as an achievement.
I am the choir member who quit because she couldn't stand the weekly scoldings, who realised that she could be doing other more productive things with her saturday afternoons and holidays.
I am that singer who let her voice go down the drain.
I am that friend who constantly worries about you. I am that friend who will constantly pimp books/musicals/anime/gaming to you. I am that friend who will give you shelter if you ever run away from home. I am that friend who will listen, if you need it.
I am your ina roel.
I am that classmate who needs to re-roll her charisma.
I am the girl who will always have a crush on you, that girl who woke up crying when you went away.
I am that teenager who will always bear that grudge against you.
I am a young woman who doesn't know what to do with the rest of her life. I am that girl who wants to grow up to be an adventurer.
I am wondering what next life will throw at me.
I am the sister who will never be as good as you are. I am that sister whom you have shaped in so many ways, more than you know, who misses you very much too.
I am the reason you continue to work, not letting you retire early. I am that daughter who sees you coming back late everyday, and listens to your conversations about work over dinner.
I am the granddaughter who never appreciated you until you were gone.
I am that student who has spent 10 good years in a convent, the blue pinafoe marking me for life, even if I don't wear it anymore.
I am the band member who would sing with you during sectionals, instead of play the saxophone. I am the same who left the school having that as an achievement.
I am the choir member who quit because she couldn't stand the weekly scoldings, who realised that she could be doing other more productive things with her saturday afternoons and holidays.
I am that singer who let her voice go down the drain.
I am that friend who constantly worries about you. I am that friend who will constantly pimp books/musicals/anime/gaming to you. I am that friend who will give you shelter if you ever run away from home. I am that friend who will listen, if you need it.
I am your ina roel.
I am that classmate who needs to re-roll her charisma.
I am the girl who will always have a crush on you, that girl who woke up crying when you went away.
I am that teenager who will always bear that grudge against you.
I am a young woman who doesn't know what to do with the rest of her life. I am that girl who wants to grow up to be an adventurer.
I am wondering what next life will throw at me.
Friday, September 16, 2005
OK TOR AGAIN
Yay! Am freeriding on someone else's wireless at home so I have internet! I now have a nice new laptop and have installed msn! I have just re-connected into the world of the virtually living. I shall be adding everyone slowly to my new msn. The old one diededed on me years ago. Since my computer won't let me post my homework on my school's web discussion board thingie for some reason, I might as well do this quiz, using my new-found internet source. And since it caters so appealingly to the self-absorbed (i.e. me, although less so now than when khayce first brought this fact about myself to my attention-- see, am doing it again).
Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged it's your turn.
1. The nicest thing in my house is my bolster, named BolBol.
2. The nicest thing about my house is that it is in Covent Garden.
3. I once wrote a poem dedicated to BolBol.
4. My sister's bolster used to be called Ster Ster. Wait, that isn't about me. I used to make my sister say that my bolster is nice. That's better.
5. More than one person has said that I look like Daniel Chan.
6. I am self-absorbed enough to think that people will find a list like this interesting.
7. I like the colour tan more than the colour red now.
8. I go to a Japanese hair stylist and have funky Jap hair that looks like a mushroom.
9. I actually enjoy reading The Economist.
10. Reading The Economist makes me feel smart.
11. I am now so fat now that my aunt could not spot me in my graduation photo with my friends.
12. I now cycle every day for half an hour while reading The Economist so that I can feel fit AND smart.
13. I now do not eat any carbohydrates after 5pm.
14. I have just discovered Paul Theroux and am spending way too much money on his books, particularly his travel writing.
15. I once got picked up at the County Hall gallery by this guy who saw me clutching a Theroux novel. He worked for the Foreign Office and spoke chinese. Obviously I had to decline his invitation to dinner since I am attached. (Damn! there went a free dinner)
16. My boyfriend has logged over 400 dives (scuba). I have done about 20.
17. I still hang out with my dive instructor who is from Malta but works in London now. (As an accountant, not a dive instructor)
18. I don't drink beer anymore, unless it is Ninkeberry, which is mango-and-passionfruit flavoured beer.
19. I miss watching Glor's anime.
20. I miss Glor.
Can everyone Glor tagged link back here so we can all see what they wrote?
Yay! Am freeriding on someone else's wireless at home so I have internet! I now have a nice new laptop and have installed msn! I have just re-connected into the world of the virtually living. I shall be adding everyone slowly to my new msn. The old one diededed on me years ago. Since my computer won't let me post my homework on my school's web discussion board thingie for some reason, I might as well do this quiz, using my new-found internet source. And since it caters so appealingly to the self-absorbed (i.e. me, although less so now than when khayce first brought this fact about myself to my attention-- see, am doing it again).
Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged it's your turn.
1. The nicest thing in my house is my bolster, named BolBol.
2. The nicest thing about my house is that it is in Covent Garden.
3. I once wrote a poem dedicated to BolBol.
4. My sister's bolster used to be called Ster Ster. Wait, that isn't about me. I used to make my sister say that my bolster is nice. That's better.
5. More than one person has said that I look like Daniel Chan.
6. I am self-absorbed enough to think that people will find a list like this interesting.
7. I like the colour tan more than the colour red now.
8. I go to a Japanese hair stylist and have funky Jap hair that looks like a mushroom.
9. I actually enjoy reading The Economist.
10. Reading The Economist makes me feel smart.
11. I am now so fat now that my aunt could not spot me in my graduation photo with my friends.
12. I now cycle every day for half an hour while reading The Economist so that I can feel fit AND smart.
13. I now do not eat any carbohydrates after 5pm.
14. I have just discovered Paul Theroux and am spending way too much money on his books, particularly his travel writing.
15. I once got picked up at the County Hall gallery by this guy who saw me clutching a Theroux novel. He worked for the Foreign Office and spoke chinese. Obviously I had to decline his invitation to dinner since I am attached. (Damn! there went a free dinner)
16. My boyfriend has logged over 400 dives (scuba). I have done about 20.
17. I still hang out with my dive instructor who is from Malta but works in London now. (As an accountant, not a dive instructor)
18. I don't drink beer anymore, unless it is Ninkeberry, which is mango-and-passionfruit flavoured beer.
19. I miss watching Glor's anime.
20. I miss Glor.
Can everyone Glor tagged link back here so we can all see what they wrote?
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Don't know why, but I got tagged for this twice, so I guess it mean that I'd better do it...
Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged it's your turn.
1. I think I may be beginning to like red more than black.
2. But I still like black anyway.
3. I actually -do- like my classmates. Really.
4. I still think my older sister is 19, so I've got to add the years up when people ask me how old she is.
5. I like liquorice, and it's damned difficult to find good liquorice here.
6. Stupid people make me laugh. That would include the blur tourists one often sees in town.
7. I am beggining to be quite enthusiastic about wuxia films.
8. My father likes long distance running.
9. He also happens to have a degree in both philosophy and literature.
10. So does my mum. But she graduated at a chinese university so she knows all about confucious.
11. But I really -don't- know why I speak the way I do, or where it came from.
12. I can play the saxophone. And I rather miss it.
13. I'd like to think that I can/could sing.
14. I'm frustrated by the fact that no one seems to have heard of the korean manwha, Priest.
15. My left ring finger is longer than my right. Seriously!
16. The surface of my nails are ridged, so on the occasion of a manicure, the lady has to file them down.
17. I like pretty dice. Especially the runic d10 and the blue blood scarab set on dicepool.com
18. My favourite character so far isn't my Ars Magica magus, but the V:tM Daughter of Cacophony.
19. I think that anime and manga are underrated, by the general public. And I like to argue with them on that. Even if you really -do- have some nonsense stuff out there.
20. I'm so fair that sometimes under the sun, I burn when walking from place to place.
9 minutes. Tagg~!
Jerrick
Victoria
Rosie
Khayce
Ed
Jenny
Amanda
Tsu
Dawn
Write 20 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts. If you're tagged it's your turn.
1. I think I may be beginning to like red more than black.
2. But I still like black anyway.
3. I actually -do- like my classmates. Really.
4. I still think my older sister is 19, so I've got to add the years up when people ask me how old she is.
5. I like liquorice, and it's damned difficult to find good liquorice here.
6. Stupid people make me laugh. That would include the blur tourists one often sees in town.
7. I am beggining to be quite enthusiastic about wuxia films.
8. My father likes long distance running.
9. He also happens to have a degree in both philosophy and literature.
10. So does my mum. But she graduated at a chinese university so she knows all about confucious.
11. But I really -don't- know why I speak the way I do, or where it came from.
12. I can play the saxophone. And I rather miss it.
13. I'd like to think that I can/could sing.
14. I'm frustrated by the fact that no one seems to have heard of the korean manwha, Priest.
15. My left ring finger is longer than my right. Seriously!
16. The surface of my nails are ridged, so on the occasion of a manicure, the lady has to file them down.
17. I like pretty dice. Especially the runic d10 and the blue blood scarab set on dicepool.com
18. My favourite character so far isn't my Ars Magica magus, but the V:tM Daughter of Cacophony.
19. I think that anime and manga are underrated, by the general public. And I like to argue with them on that. Even if you really -do- have some nonsense stuff out there.
20. I'm so fair that sometimes under the sun, I burn when walking from place to place.
9 minutes. Tagg~!
Jerrick
Victoria
Rosie
Khayce
Ed
Jenny
Amanda
Tsu
Dawn
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
THIS IS TOR
I know how you feel about people like The Girl Who Giggled. Thankfully, I am no longer surrounded by such numbskulls, and/or can move away slowly and carefully if I ever find myself their midst. Although I did meet a very interesting girl at a business course we had to go for in Manchester. Didn't get to see the city at all (except a little bit of the Uni campus) but I had a luxurious room all to myself with a TV and ironing board! *gasp* It's funny how your standards get lowered, staying in UK hotels.
So, this girl.
'Howdy!' she said as I entered the room for our little groupwork session thingie. This greeting seemed strange as she was obviously very posh. It could have been her confused effort to connect with the common people such as myself. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she had got her countries mixed up. What else could I say but 'er, hello?'.
'Is it just you?' she replied.
I didn't know, there were meant to be 6 of us but apparently many people had had a rather heavy night the night before and hadn't actually got up that afternoon.
After a pause she said, 'So, what's your background then?'. I forgot to mention that this girl looks like the queen (perhaps a younger version) and was wearing tweed. I didn't know if I was meant to say that I was from the Bishan branch of the Ho family involved in middle class pursuits (I'm afraid), or just that I was from SG.
'No,no!' she said, 'I meant, which university are you from?'
So I detailed my educational pedigree.
'Are you at Oxford next year then?' she was referring to the LPC year that everyone has to do in order to sit their bar exam. We can do this in Nottingham, Oxford, or London.
'No, I'll be in London,' I told her.
'Jolly good.'
Absolute and awkward silence.
Luckily people started coming in and having conversations about houses in the country, and the people who knew the other people in the room, so I could relax. But the majority of my future colleagues are nice or at least ok, from what I've experienced. There are one or two that are just not on the same planet though, for example, one girl is on planet Paris Hilton.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against my future colleagues, they just exasperate me very easily.
I know how you feel about people like The Girl Who Giggled. Thankfully, I am no longer surrounded by such numbskulls, and/or can move away slowly and carefully if I ever find myself their midst. Although I did meet a very interesting girl at a business course we had to go for in Manchester. Didn't get to see the city at all (except a little bit of the Uni campus) but I had a luxurious room all to myself with a TV and ironing board! *gasp* It's funny how your standards get lowered, staying in UK hotels.
So, this girl.
'Howdy!' she said as I entered the room for our little groupwork session thingie. This greeting seemed strange as she was obviously very posh. It could have been her confused effort to connect with the common people such as myself. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she had got her countries mixed up. What else could I say but 'er, hello?'.
'Is it just you?' she replied.
I didn't know, there were meant to be 6 of us but apparently many people had had a rather heavy night the night before and hadn't actually got up that afternoon.
After a pause she said, 'So, what's your background then?'. I forgot to mention that this girl looks like the queen (perhaps a younger version) and was wearing tweed. I didn't know if I was meant to say that I was from the Bishan branch of the Ho family involved in middle class pursuits (I'm afraid), or just that I was from SG.
'No,no!' she said, 'I meant, which university are you from?'
So I detailed my educational pedigree.
'Are you at Oxford next year then?' she was referring to the LPC year that everyone has to do in order to sit their bar exam. We can do this in Nottingham, Oxford, or London.
'No, I'll be in London,' I told her.
'Jolly good.'
Absolute and awkward silence.
Luckily people started coming in and having conversations about houses in the country, and the people who knew the other people in the room, so I could relax. But the majority of my future colleagues are nice or at least ok, from what I've experienced. There are one or two that are just not on the same planet though, for example, one girl is on planet Paris Hilton.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against my future colleagues, they just exasperate me very easily.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Just jotting this down, while in school. Have to dash for Lit lect in a bit.
Bloody hell. If there's one thing that I don't like, it's being locked out of class first thing in the morning. Especially when the first period is a lecture and my notes are in class. I do sit rather close to the windows, but I don't have abnormally long arms to reach my stuff (however, have I ever mentioned that my left ring finger is longer than my right?).
Added to that, my class chairman acted like he didn't care, when I asked him about it after assembly. Don't think he liked me interrupting his conversation with other fencers. Well, of course he didn't care; he had his notes with him.
But what I detest most of all is when the person holding the fucking key tag giggles when she discovers her mistake.
Urgh.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against my classmates. They just exasperate me very easily.
Bloody hell. If there's one thing that I don't like, it's being locked out of class first thing in the morning. Especially when the first period is a lecture and my notes are in class. I do sit rather close to the windows, but I don't have abnormally long arms to reach my stuff (however, have I ever mentioned that my left ring finger is longer than my right?).
Added to that, my class chairman acted like he didn't care, when I asked him about it after assembly. Don't think he liked me interrupting his conversation with other fencers. Well, of course he didn't care; he had his notes with him.
But what I detest most of all is when the person holding the fucking key tag giggles when she discovers her mistake.
Urgh.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against my classmates. They just exasperate me very easily.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Please excuse my previous post, I'm fine. Was just PMS-ing. That's what blogs're for, no?
Just got back from fencing, haven't fenced for a month, by estimation. In fact, I hardly fence at all in the first place. Now my fingers feel like they want to fall off because my hand is so strained. Good thing I'm using a french grip though, because a pistol grip would probably do worse. Couldn't write, when I first put down my blade. Write, as in do Econs MCQ while presiding other bouts. So my TYS has 15 point score matches all over the Labour Market section.
Started on the shadowrun main book some time back, muchly thanks to Wen and his gigantic portable hard drive. Got through the history bit of it, so have grasp of what setting is like. Now I know what Khayce ment by Snow Crash beng a very shadowrun book.
Can't quite get through the technicalities of the game though, am beggining to form habit of reading only fluff text. Must be all the fanfic reading I do online, articles in PDF aren't so much different. On the other hand, I've never really liked going through technical bits, it's easier to learn it when you actually play. Like science practical like that.
Went back to IJ this week, to get Angelina's camera from Jenny, for Project Work. The fact that I reognise nearly nobody anymore is more than just slightly alarming. The few that I did were band juniors, who have stepped down. Damned good to see them again. At least the teachers are mostly constant; I said hallo to Mr Chan. Oh hell, I miss my saxophone so much! But fencing is doing a fine job of a replacement, at least. Besides, I really am quite sick of performance arts, at the mo. But honestly, the feeling of walking through the place you've always thought of as your school, only to see strangers in that classic blue pinafoe...
Mailed Eldred. Suddenly I find out that he's got a blog. On friendster no less. And he's on bloody msn messenger too. Utterly contrary to the veiws that he shared with me, while he was still here. He's doing well, and that is always a good thing to know. Which is more than I can say for some of my friends here in CJ.
It's funny how you turn around for what seems like just a moment, only to be suprised at the very odd things that happened while you weren't looking.
Is it just me, or does it seem to rain alot on days when I have Geog lectures? Tuesdays and Thursdays. How odd. In any case, I've taken to bringing a heavy jeacket down to all lectures now, so that I don't keep freezing my ass off, or have my body wanting to shut down/start hibernating. I haven't the faintest idea where the jacket came from, I just found it in the spare cupboard one day. I know it sounds creepy but I think my sister chucked it there before she left. Keyword here being think.
I think I shall go dump my hand in ice water now, so that I can fence tmr. Oww.
Just got back from fencing, haven't fenced for a month, by estimation. In fact, I hardly fence at all in the first place. Now my fingers feel like they want to fall off because my hand is so strained. Good thing I'm using a french grip though, because a pistol grip would probably do worse. Couldn't write, when I first put down my blade. Write, as in do Econs MCQ while presiding other bouts. So my TYS has 15 point score matches all over the Labour Market section.
Started on the shadowrun main book some time back, muchly thanks to Wen and his gigantic portable hard drive. Got through the history bit of it, so have grasp of what setting is like. Now I know what Khayce ment by Snow Crash beng a very shadowrun book.
Can't quite get through the technicalities of the game though, am beggining to form habit of reading only fluff text. Must be all the fanfic reading I do online, articles in PDF aren't so much different. On the other hand, I've never really liked going through technical bits, it's easier to learn it when you actually play. Like science practical like that.
Went back to IJ this week, to get Angelina's camera from Jenny, for Project Work. The fact that I reognise nearly nobody anymore is more than just slightly alarming. The few that I did were band juniors, who have stepped down. Damned good to see them again. At least the teachers are mostly constant; I said hallo to Mr Chan. Oh hell, I miss my saxophone so much! But fencing is doing a fine job of a replacement, at least. Besides, I really am quite sick of performance arts, at the mo. But honestly, the feeling of walking through the place you've always thought of as your school, only to see strangers in that classic blue pinafoe...
Mailed Eldred. Suddenly I find out that he's got a blog. On friendster no less. And he's on bloody msn messenger too. Utterly contrary to the veiws that he shared with me, while he was still here. He's doing well, and that is always a good thing to know. Which is more than I can say for some of my friends here in CJ.
It's funny how you turn around for what seems like just a moment, only to be suprised at the very odd things that happened while you weren't looking.
Is it just me, or does it seem to rain alot on days when I have Geog lectures? Tuesdays and Thursdays. How odd. In any case, I've taken to bringing a heavy jeacket down to all lectures now, so that I don't keep freezing my ass off, or have my body wanting to shut down/start hibernating. I haven't the faintest idea where the jacket came from, I just found it in the spare cupboard one day. I know it sounds creepy but I think my sister chucked it there before she left. Keyword here being think.
I think I shall go dump my hand in ice water now, so that I can fence tmr. Oww.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
THIS IS TOR
Do you know what else? At the Malaysian restaurants here, you can't have white chai dao kuei because they only have black chai dao kueh in Malaysia and they refuse to do a special one for me. Can life get any more miserable? Think about it. Can you imagine not having eaten white chai dao kueh for a year?
My obsession with proper, wholesome food is considered very strange here. And chai dao kueh is healthy compared to typical london food, which consists mainly of soggy sandwiches, greasy kebabs and MacDonald's. For some reason, the junk food here tastes a lot worse than in SG and the portions are also a lot smaller. (I tried a few fries in the name of research so that I can say I know what I'm talking about, despite my principled objection to MacDonald's.) Actually, most of the time people just don't eat. As in, they go to a pub straight after work for 'after work drinks', and then stumble home pissed at midnight (on a weekday). On weekends, dinner for most people my age means grabbing a burger while waiting in line to get into a club at 10:30pm. Before that, during the normal dinnertime hours (7-9+), everyone's at home or at another bar getting steadily more and more drunk, until they get thrown out of the bar and sober up in the cold night air. Then everyone stumbles around trying to find a club, perhaps stopping at an off-license to get more beer/alcopops in order to try and stay pissed while waiting in the queue to get in.
A weekend night in London is drunk people carousing around trying blearily to find a club 'they know is around here somewhere'. But don't get me wrong, I do go out, just to nice, non-sleazy places where one can have a drink with friends in relative comfort, hopefully without burning a hole in one's pocket. Urgh, I sound snobbish now. But what I really am trying to say is...
As I mentioned, no one actually has dinner properly here. My English friends are constantly amazed by the fact that I go to the supermarket and buy groceries like raw fish and meat, because it's usually pasta or microwave food for them. But then most of my classmates don't really live in London. They go home to their parents' houses in other parts of the country every few weekends and have proper food then (ie roast beef, meatloaf, typical ang moh food etc.). I, on the other hand, can't bloody go home whenever I want.
So I have to cook my own mee pok, laksa, etc. Did you know that a vital ingredient in mee pok is the pork lard? You know, the small crispy thing that no one eats because it is too fattening? Well, mee pok tastes like a pale shadow of itself when you don't cook it with that pork lard. And I can't bring myself to buy or make that because it is too fattening. Damn! Damned if I do, (cos it's fattening) and damned if I don't (cos it doesn't taste as nice).
People don't even have proper lunches! Everyone eats sandwiches at their desks and some may go out for a smoke and a coffee, but no one goes and sits down at a table and orders food. Since there aren't any hawker centres here, you can't do that without spending quite a lot of money at restaurants. And if you want a healthy option, there's only sushi, which costs quite a lot here (as it does in the rest of the world, even Japan. Except Union Square in New York though).
So to anyone who is thinking of studying/working abroad, I say, go to America! Go to Australia! Do not come to London/the UK. Because if you are a true Sgean, life will be quite miserable for you. Especially if you like white chai dao kueh.
I am very poor thing. Feeling very sorry for myself.
Do you know what else? At the Malaysian restaurants here, you can't have white chai dao kuei because they only have black chai dao kueh in Malaysia and they refuse to do a special one for me. Can life get any more miserable? Think about it. Can you imagine not having eaten white chai dao kueh for a year?
My obsession with proper, wholesome food is considered very strange here. And chai dao kueh is healthy compared to typical london food, which consists mainly of soggy sandwiches, greasy kebabs and MacDonald's. For some reason, the junk food here tastes a lot worse than in SG and the portions are also a lot smaller. (I tried a few fries in the name of research so that I can say I know what I'm talking about, despite my principled objection to MacDonald's.) Actually, most of the time people just don't eat. As in, they go to a pub straight after work for 'after work drinks', and then stumble home pissed at midnight (on a weekday). On weekends, dinner for most people my age means grabbing a burger while waiting in line to get into a club at 10:30pm. Before that, during the normal dinnertime hours (7-9+), everyone's at home or at another bar getting steadily more and more drunk, until they get thrown out of the bar and sober up in the cold night air. Then everyone stumbles around trying to find a club, perhaps stopping at an off-license to get more beer/alcopops in order to try and stay pissed while waiting in the queue to get in.
A weekend night in London is drunk people carousing around trying blearily to find a club 'they know is around here somewhere'. But don't get me wrong, I do go out, just to nice, non-sleazy places where one can have a drink with friends in relative comfort, hopefully without burning a hole in one's pocket. Urgh, I sound snobbish now. But what I really am trying to say is...
As I mentioned, no one actually has dinner properly here. My English friends are constantly amazed by the fact that I go to the supermarket and buy groceries like raw fish and meat, because it's usually pasta or microwave food for them. But then most of my classmates don't really live in London. They go home to their parents' houses in other parts of the country every few weekends and have proper food then (ie roast beef, meatloaf, typical ang moh food etc.). I, on the other hand, can't bloody go home whenever I want.
So I have to cook my own mee pok, laksa, etc. Did you know that a vital ingredient in mee pok is the pork lard? You know, the small crispy thing that no one eats because it is too fattening? Well, mee pok tastes like a pale shadow of itself when you don't cook it with that pork lard. And I can't bring myself to buy or make that because it is too fattening. Damn! Damned if I do, (cos it's fattening) and damned if I don't (cos it doesn't taste as nice).
People don't even have proper lunches! Everyone eats sandwiches at their desks and some may go out for a smoke and a coffee, but no one goes and sits down at a table and orders food. Since there aren't any hawker centres here, you can't do that without spending quite a lot of money at restaurants. And if you want a healthy option, there's only sushi, which costs quite a lot here (as it does in the rest of the world, even Japan. Except Union Square in New York though).
So to anyone who is thinking of studying/working abroad, I say, go to America! Go to Australia! Do not come to London/the UK. Because if you are a true Sgean, life will be quite miserable for you. Especially if you like white chai dao kueh.
I am very poor thing. Feeling very sorry for myself.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
The weather this morning suited my mood perfectly.
I stepped out of Geog lecture (Impacts of Rapid Population Growth in Developing Countries) and the sky was wonderfully overcast. I was just in time to catch that gorgeous pause, the almost audible sigh of the sky as it prepared to pour.
I want to stand on the roof, scream and shout and cry until there is nothing left of me, til the rain finally pounds that message home: you are nothing. You do not matter in the grand scheme of things.
what if what if what if
I have come to hate those words.
I feel blades eating into my flesh; spelling out that one letter I know so well, mine, all mine... and the blood runs in ruby rivulets down to stain my fair skin like ink on paper. Or maybe there is no blood? I am tired of thinking.
The lightning drowns out my rage but not the voices in my head that continue to argue and bicker and-
(Brought to you courtesy of my hormones, inferiority complex and that Unavoidable Thing Called Puberty)
I stepped out of Geog lecture (Impacts of Rapid Population Growth in Developing Countries) and the sky was wonderfully overcast. I was just in time to catch that gorgeous pause, the almost audible sigh of the sky as it prepared to pour.
I want to stand on the roof, scream and shout and cry until there is nothing left of me, til the rain finally pounds that message home: you are nothing. You do not matter in the grand scheme of things.
what if what if what if
I have come to hate those words.
I feel blades eating into my flesh; spelling out that one letter I know so well, mine, all mine... and the blood runs in ruby rivulets down to stain my fair skin like ink on paper. Or maybe there is no blood? I am tired of thinking.
The lightning drowns out my rage but not the voices in my head that continue to argue and bicker and-
(Brought to you courtesy of my hormones, inferiority complex and that Unavoidable Thing Called Puberty)